At the End of the Day

     A day is here to test your limits, and it's a measurement of time too short to cram in what you have planned.  Moods can fluctuate greatly in the span of a day, but rather they can change in the span of an hour or even a few minutes.  My days are usually great because I don't let bad things happen to me.  I don't spend time with people who would cause bad things to happen to me, and I don't make bad decisions (often).  I think this is a strength I have.  My strengths are selfish, within me.  I am not strong within my interactions with other people, especially my family.
     Just 30 minutes ago, my weakness was revealed between my parents and me.  I asked my mom to help me put my money for Relay for Life that I raised onto the internet so my team and I could see how it's helped.  It would help us keep track, but after telling me no and figuring out that $40 out of my $60 was mine, she began to hurt my feelings by stating the fact that I am doing a bad job at fundraising.  This made my weaknesses prevail in the sense that I couldn't let it go that she said no and insulted me.  I escalate arguments and take a beating personally, especially from my parents.  My dad's exclamations about my impotence don't help much either.  He's not a very supportive father, but I can't tell him that or else he gets ever more unsupportive and rude.
     My family is falling apart, and it's very saddening.  My mother and brother fight constantly because Joe doesn't respect her as a motherly figure.  "There's no place in my heart for you as my mother", says Joe almost weekly.  His bipolarity is impossible, and my mom supports it strongly.  Joe says horrible things, and gets away with it almost all the time.  Discipline was lacking, I presume from the beginning.  We grew up without discipline and now we struggle dealing with our parents, especially Joe.  I truly need to chill out and talk to my parents less because it's very hard to be kind to them.  They do not raise us well, and it shows in Joe.  I tell my mom "Good luck putting him through high school", and she agrees with my rationale.  It's sad in my opinion.  I feel bad for my mom because she's lost so much taking care of Joe that she has nothing left for me.

Note to self for future success: Chill out and don't let your emotions take over, especially with Mom.  She's very hard to deal with.  Stay away from dad.