It seems that involvement in music is just a cycle of excessive preparation for auditions. This is especially true at Neuqua. Over the last few months, I've had auditions for CYSO (one entrance audition and a seating audition, an IMEA pre audition and tomorrow I have the actual IMEA audition. The cycle will continue to a jazz audition, solo and ensemble, and next year's band placement auditions. It's a constant stressor for some people, but I feel that it's these deadlines and goals that push me to be a better player.
Auditions are never a representation of perfect playing, which is why it's hard to accept audition results when they are released. The gratification of seeing your name on a sheet of paper hanging on the wall is great, but the disappointment can be heavy. I've been on a success streak lately. I made the CYSO, I earned an impressive seating in CYSO, and I made it to the IMEA audition. This has probably clouded my emotional capability to feel failure which I may feel after this audition. The IMEA scales are always a problem for me because the focus necessary for a flawless performance is hard to obtain, especially in a stressful situation.
I've been working hard on this difficult music, and I hope it pays off. I know that I have two more opportunities to make it into the district festival, and maybe even the All State festival! It's also not the end of the world because I don't have ambitions for a future in music. All I can do is hope I'm feeling at my best tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment