Perceptions of Disappointment

     It's the contrast between people's perceptions of disappointment that truly shows the diversity of values within people.  Today was a day of disappointment for me, but for many other people these disappointments would never even be considered as such.  Getting a B on two chemistry assessments disappoints me.  Having my accomplishment turned into something just a little less special than it is is a disappointment.  Why would a B cause me to feel a feeling of self discontent while other people would rejoice with that grade.  I believe that this is from achievement.  Achievement, however, comes from effort.  So this leads me to believe that disappointment comes from effort.
     I put effort into things I want to succeed in.  I put effort into school and expect good grades.  I put time into my trombone and I expect to be in prestigious ensembles.  When I get a good grade, I know I put the effort to get there and I know that I prepared adequately.  Sometimes this means not studying, but in the past I put in effort to figure out how I learn, so I know when I don't need to.  It's this effort that gives me a competitive edge in school. It's the effort and the achievement that comes with this effort that gives an expectation. The more effort someone puts into their achievement, the greater that achievement is. And someone who is very accomplished from their efforts develops a self expectation to continue to reach the same standard. Someone who puts in a lot of effort and achieves a lot will experience failure that affects them a lot. In my case, I'm used to understanding science and I put in the effort to understand. This effort usually leads me to high A's on tests and such, so this B was below my standard. Because of my effort and achievement, I see this disappointment differently than someone who doesn't care about understanding science who would be elated to get a C.
I feel like I'm very selfish with my achievements. I always feel a need to push ahead of everyone, and this goal is too ambitious because I'm not an ambitious person. I have simple goals to maintain A's and one B for grades and my goals for trombone are open ended. I hate knowing that there is always someone better than me. When I got my horrific test grade back, I wanted to see what other people got. When I saw that they got better scores, I felt like I failed to be the image that people put upon me as "smart" and this same image I put upon myself. I know that experiencing this feeling will boost me to try harder on my next test or quiz. I feel a need to keep an A in chemistry and I hope that I can still enjoy my achievement regardless of the small dent that appeared in my pride.