Sunday, June 24, 2012

Run For Your Lives

 We are such a happy family as we pose in our rambunctious and strategic grass skirts and flower Leis. Weirdly, our hearts were racing in anticipation for the carnage that was soon to ensue.  This anticipated carnage was finally here, and we were pumped.  After Mom bought the grass skirts, I was saying "There is no way I'm wearing a grass skirt!", but during the race they proved very useful in throwing off the zombies.  They would grab the skirts and rip them off instead of the flags.  It was humorous for other people to see us running with large parts of plastic grass missing from our festive skirts.  Hey, someone needs to bring some excitement to the depressing apocalypse.
 We're all a family... for now.  Ideas of zombie avoidance were fluttering throughout the air at the starting line.  The only part we saw prior to the start was a large gauntlet of zombies which instantly pumped up our adrenaline.  The gates opened with smoke and the race began!  The first few minutes were peaceful, but the trail involved running through a cold creek followed by sand.  At this point, everyone was whining about how hard this was going to be and this was before any zombies!  The first zombies were easily dodged by most people considering they were just alone and didn't really run, but further from the start large open fields were littered with tons of zombies.  The makeup was very intricate, but it was hard to appreciate it when you were "Running for your life".
 The survivor in action!  Mom commented "Wow Mark, you really were sprinting!  Both of your feet were off the ground".  He lived, utilizing the other people to his advantage.  Hey, one of the Zombieland rules says "Keep the dumbs close at hand," and he did.
 I made it!  Dead, but after running through gauntlet after gauntlet of zombies with obstacles in between.  I crawled through rocky rivers, ran through mud, dodged electricity, climbed ropes, and climbed the overhead ladder, and all of this while running from zombies.  If you lived through this, I applaud you and your luck!  Especially towards the end, after I was dead, I was completely astonished at how difficult the course had become!  The gauntlets were horribly congested with brain hungry zombies.  Hopefully I was good bait to those still alive because the zombies still went after me.
 Here's an action shot of me climbing out from underneath the electrified fence with a mud pit underneath.  My uncle, who was spectating, saw one man grab the fence with both hands to get down! He was certainly "in shock!"  This cruel obstacle got Mom, who was very afraid about wetting herself after her friends past experiences with electrified obstacle courses.  Luckily she didn't, but she still said it hurt for a while afterwards.
 Nature's amazing Sundog set the mood for our completion of the apocalyptic race, despite our deaths.  It must be a sign about the end of the world!
 "Ouch, I got shocked!  And I'm really really dead!"
 We made it!  Most of us dead, but dad triumphantly survived.  Joe had a ton of scrapes on his legs from a close encounter with a thorn bush while dodging one of the unforgiving zombies.  Apparently the zombie still took his flag even though he couldn't move.  Joe made some easy food for him.
After changing into our fresh clothes, we sat around listening to a nice band while celebrating the end of the world with the rest of the racers and the zombies who chased them.  Here we our with the final results: Joe died, Sam died, Mom died, and Dad lived.  The guy on the left looked quite hungry for out brains, but luckily he didn't attack.  He must still have a little bit of a soul.

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